Desperate to have a baby boy? You are not alone!

Early morning scrolling of my Facebook page, led me to an image of an old aged ex-serviceman, in the hospital, after his hunger strike for OROP (One Rank One Pension). The image title was have respect for this man. The image showed the veteran giving a salute from his hospital bed, surrounded by his 3 daughters, who were also smiling and saluting into the picture. The heart obviously melts for these protectors of ours. But that image made me a little concerned, for his health, and more for his 3 daughters.

I thought of all the people I have ever met in my life and even after hours of thinking, I couldn’t think of even a single family which had 3 sons. I mean only 3 sons. But there are many families around us who have 3 daughters. The second and third pregnancy obviously an attempt towards having a male child. But then why do some parents stop trying after having 2 sons? Why doesn’t the urge to have a daughter force them to try again-just one more time.

I would surely want to give a benefit of doubt to generations before ours. The lady of the house wasn’t independent, wasn’t well educated, and rarely had a say in these matters. The only way to get respect for her, in front of her in-laws was to be a mother of a son. And hence she kept trying- till she had a son. And the respect.

But what concerns me more is the mind-set of my generation. My generation who is considered to be contemporary, free-minded, logical, educated, independent. There are women around me, who keep getting pregnant every year, just in the hope of having a son. A pilot’s wife has 3 daughters and 1 son. A MBA woman, who left her corporate job, has 3 daughters already. And there is no logic that supports this continuing trend.

We, no more live in times where we would have massive acres of land or heavy bank balances or lavish jewellery which only the heir apparent could have a hand on. We are healthy and are saving well for our retirement and hence we wouldn’t even be dependent on our children to take care of us when we age, and hence again the logic of “must-have” son doesn’t hold true.

Then what is it? Why are still educated, metro-borne women still fighting with their body and hormones every now and then just because they are desperate to have a baby boy? And even if they do, why do they need to be hypocritical and flaunt their pictures when our PM launches the Beti Bachayo campaign and encourages people to click a selfie? Oh yes, they deserve to do that- At least they didn’t kill the girl child in the womb, or gave it away to someone when they saw her the first time.

Even while talking to educated women in office, newly married or expectant mothers, the question of gender of the child pops up. I have been asked multiple times, as to how my in-laws reacted when I gave birth to a girl child and not a boy. They are scared, during their entire pregnancy or while even planning the baby, all these today’s generation men and women are scared to have a girl child as their first child. Mind you, they love girls, and the father always wanted the girl child. But the first one should be a boy.

I wonder if we would ever be able to come out of this mind-set. When education couldn’t change it, when examples of women succeeding and supporting their parents couldn’t change it, then I wonder what will.

I recently met a highly successful lady, who has had just one daughter. We were discussing if I would or I should have another child. She asked me a simple question, ‘Why do you want to have another child?” It took time for me to answer this question. And I said “I want my girl to have some sibling love and company.” She said-“Buy her a dog instead”.

It takes guts, or rather it still takes guts for a woman to be liked and to survive in this world with just one daughter. I salute all such people who have had only one child, and that too a daughter. They truly deserve to participate in Gender Diversity initiatives, because for them, truly the gender doesn’t matter.