In a small town, lived a man with his wife and 4 children. The wife worked on the upkeep of the house and their small farm while the husband sold fruits in the nearby market. The children were all similar ages and loved playing with each other. Since they were mostly on their own through out the day, they were quite thickly bonded. The youngest was the smartest and the most impatient of the lot. He realized that whenever his mother gave them food, he had to wait for his turn. On his lucky days, he would get the first chapati, but on most days, he would get the last one. There wasn’t a method to it; it mostly dependent on who sat closest to the mother, while the food was being served. But this boy of ours, was of limited patience, and whenever he couldn’t manage the closest seat, he would cry out loud. “Oh, I am so hungry”, “Please give me food”, “Oh, my tummy is paining”, “Ma, I will die of hunger”. Just to stop his cries, the mother would give him the first chapati. The others were hungry too, but they didn’t mind waiting for their turn.
When I was working in the corporate team of a start=up organization a few years back, we used to get a lot of demands from the regional business heads- for budget approvals, assistance in managing their operations, or planning their team outings. They all needed the support, however, there was one region, which always got the first budget approval, the first sanction and the first outing!
The pattern intrigued me, and I asked the country head why this particular region was the favored one. The baby who cries the loudest, gets the milk first, sighed their boss!!
As it turned out, this region, like the boy of our story, had limited patience and preferred making noises and scenes to grab all the attention. Who likes to be around constant cries and shouts? Naturally, everyone’s first reaction is- Do what it takes and calm him down first!
There are two ways of looking at it-
- There’s nothing wrong in demanding vehemently what you need. One can’t keep hoping for luck or miracles all the time, we must create our own opportunities.
- It’s un-fair to the others, and not in the right spirit. When you are working in a team, you should think of the collective good.
While there are interesting connotations to this in a corporate set-up, I am going to bring this story to our homes and reflect upon these things with you:
- Is there someone at home who always keep demanding your attention?
- Is there someone at home who needs your attention but doesn’t really demand?
We are all trapped in our world of duties, commitments and dreams. We are also bonded with relationships. While there’s nothing wrong with trying to pacify the crying baby first, it’s the habit of doing it all the time, that can hurt your other relationships. The crying baby would always cry, that’s his established and the only known way of getting what he needs. Some dear relationships of yours may not demand your time and attention, but they need you nevertheless. When you are around a crying baby for long, you start doing things only when you are told or asked. You lose your ability to preempt the situations or feelings of others. The important thing to realize is that not everybody shouts or makes their demands known, some do prefer to stand in line with their plates.
It’s easy to say, “You didn’t tell me” but harder to answer when someone says, “You didn’t ask”.
Photo by Lance Grandahl on Unsplash
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