Are you bored of daily life?

I am on an office trip to another city for 2 days. What it really means is that I am away from my routine life. I am in a hotel where room service gets me everything; a cab takes me to places I want. I define how I spend my time, what I watch on television and when to sleep and wake up.

And I am not on vacation, which means I am involved in something constructive as well. I woke up looking from my hotel room and wondering, wouldn’t it be lovely if I get to do this daily?

How long can I stretch myself like this? If I stop wondering or getting bogged down by social responsibilities and duties and decide only to live for myself- how long can I live like this?

2 days? 1 week? 1 month?

Our brother went to France recently and came across people who had come there for sight-seeing and they liked the place so much that they haven’t gone back home for 5 years now. There are similar people in Pondicherry/Goa. Came and never left. Didn’t they have their loved ones to go back to?

Is it only about a cultural difference that in India we hear such stories with bewilderment and not acceptance?

Will my family start hating me because I decide to abstain from daily chores of parenting, marriage and taking care of parents?

I got up from my deep thought and decided to try this. I called up my husband and said I am not feeling like coming back home.

Why?

Because I like being me and living like myself.

And here you don’t get to do that?

I do, but then it drives me crazy-running around all the time.

Then don’t run.

What.

Yes, don’t run. Who has asked you to run? Why can’t you let the room messy for one day so that you have time?

I don’t like messy rooms!

So enjoy the room service. I am getting late. Need to ensure our daughter reaches school on time.

He hung up and there it was-the reality. This is what I liked doing everyday-ensuring our daughter reaches school on time. I set up the perfect routine for myself in my home. Waking up, school dropping, office, dinner, play time, sleep. That’s how I decided to run my house every day. And since yesterday, my husband is doing that part. And may do so forever because I am bored of daily life. What if he gets bored tomorrow and leaves somewhere? Would we all just keep getting bored, realizing and running?

It was as if the Queen had woken up from her sleep and was telling me from inside her palace that stood in front of me. I didn’t enjoy being the King’s Queen all the time but I got it because I wanted to be a Queen at one point of time.

I was living my dream that I once had. A happy home, a loving husband, being a parent- this is all I always wanted. Am I running away now? Or do I want to live a new dream?

I guess we all go through this phase-men and women alike. And it’s good that we do.

Unless there is something in our current setup that we don’t want to change or are not happy with, we won’t look at other things that can take us to the next level of happiness and satisfaction.

The constant questioning, the seeking of answers, the fight within, the dream of a happier life- that’s what keeps us going. Why else would I want to stay away from my 4 year old for even a day?

I now have a new dream because I wish to stop being bored of life, where I can continue to be me and also a mother, wife, sister, daughter and employee.

I know I will get there soon, as I have with all my previous dreams.