“I mean 40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan. And it was actually before the World Trade Center was the tallest. And then when they built the World Trade Center it became known as the second tallest. And now it’s the tallest.” Said Donald Trump immediately after the attacks on 9/11.
His speeches, accusations and comments have surely made this US presidential elections an exciting affair. If Obama was loved for his oratory skills, Trump is loved for his catchy quotes. Just for fun, here’s a few more things he has said during this campaign:
“Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”
“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”
A simple Google search on Donald Trump’s personality will tell you that for psychologists, it’s almost impossible to talk about Donald Trump without using the word narcissism. People suffering from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) have an exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.
If you were working with a Trump like colleague, then here are some probable things you would be hearing:
- I made the region double up its revenue achievement
- He wants to discuss issues only with me; doesn’t let me leave his cabin
- The deadlines wouldn’t have been met if I wasn’t working in that project team
- They will do anything to retain me
- They are going beyond their budgets because they want to hire me
- My entire team is useless, it’s only me who is driving results
- It’s going to take me a while to clean up the mess left by the last guy
- You’re the only person who misunderstands what I say
Being in the same team as someone like this could be stressful. He could affect your performance, your motivation to go to work, the quality of your work and can project himself better in front of the superiors, since talking about himself, and only himself is the only thing he knows!
It becomes extremely difficult for management to make a narcissist realize his mistakes, because more often than not, a narcissist will have evidence to back up what they did or said was correct, genuine and needed.
Most of us ignore the presence of a narcissist in our team, because he may otherwise be a nice human being, a good performer and an intelligent person. And by the time we realize that his behavior is impacting our performance or may be the perception of our performance, it’s usually too late. Changing jobs or teams is the easiest thing we think of then.
But if you’ve been bitten by a narcissist team member or boss, and are now careful to look out for one in your new team, then here’s what we’d suggest you could do if you are around someone who things really high of himself, looks down upon everyone else and considers himself an indispensable asset to the company.
Understand it’s a disorder: Start looking at a narcissist as someone who has a medical condition. Without getting into why is he like that, accept the fact that he is. And he is working with you. Depending on what he does, the impact of his actions can severely or mildly impact you. So, instead of wrecking your brains on how to show him what he really is, try spending some time on reading about what these people do, say and act. And be better prepared to handle situations around him, that affects your performance directly. Start documenting your work, having one on one meetings with important stakeholders, updating your boss on work progress with clearly defined roles of who is doing what.
Don’t expect anything from him: A narcissist cannot be anybody’s friends. He doesn’t really have a lot of friends, even in his personal life. So don’t try and become his friend in order to get some sense into him. Also, he wouldn’t mind stabbing your back for an opportunity that he thinks favours him because he only sees himself. So don’t expect anything from him and more importantly, don’t give him much of your time and attention.
Never get into confrontation with a Narcissist. You could be genuinely upset about what he is doing, you know it affects the company, your team or directly your own work, but hold on to your temper. Don’t go up to him and accuse him. Negative feedback doesn’t work with a narcissist. Instead, present feedback in a constructive manner, which has hint of mild praise. And in that feedback, try and put your point across, so that he doesn’t mess up with your life again.
Don’t ignore a narcissist: If you are in a team meeting with him, and do not agree with what he says and you don’t want to get into confrontation with him (learning from point above), you can’t keep quiet. Ignoring a narcissist and not giving him the strokes he needs, could put you in bigger trouble with him. So, a response to what he says, which acknowledges his thinking and work, and a line which adds your own two cents to the topic would do the trick. While I agree with what Donald says here, and he has absolutely nailed it with this analysis, I think using his suggestions and also doing <this> could help us come out of this situation.
With this, we go back to watching closely if the World’s most powerful country is soon going to be managed by a Narcissist. As Donald Trump himself says, God Bless America!
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