He didn’t want her to move out. He thought she was only thinking about her feelings and aspirations and not her homely duties. She was being very selfish.
She wanted to move out because she thought he didn’t understand her feelings and was only focussed on his house and his career. He was being very selfish.
If you live your life, as if everything is about you, you will be left with just that. Just you. He reasoned.
Standing alone is better than being around people who don’t value you. She argued.
The books and articles that she was reading recently on women empowerment were clearly not helping her, or at least that’s what he thought. Why don’t you stop reading all that bullshit, practical life is way different than what’s being written.
Yes, and lose the only thing that gives me power to dream. I feel chained. I feel bonded and its not a good feeling.
Oh, come one! It’s not that bad.
It wasn’t.
In hindsight, she would confess to herself that she did get a little carried away with those beautiful words of Rumi. It would be such a pity to spoil your future because you were so worried about your present.
She didn’t move out. She had her reasons of not doing so.
But these conversations became frequent and after a while, they stopped. Then there would be occasional outbursts, followed by periods of silence.
And then, just as a change of season, brings with it the freshness of life, things changed. The love was back, the laughter filled her days. It had never felt so satisfying.
What if she had moved out? It was so easy, in that moment, to take the plunge. She was getting all the signals to do so. They all said you could, if you want. Except her own inner self. She knew this wasn’t what her core beliefs and values stood for.
She wasn’t fighting for separation, she was fighting for her peace and happiness by being together. And she wasn’t one of those who gave up easily. It came, albeit a little late, but it came.
It’s easy to get influenced by what we hear, say, read and see. And just as Google starts showing us ads basis our browsing history, life also keeps bringing us things we think about. It’s the power of attraction, says Rhonda Byrne in her highly acclaimed book, The Secret. The more you think about something, the more it comes to you. The more you think of separation, the more stories of separation comes your way. The more you think of staying happy together, the more reasons you start getting of doing just that. The same Rumi that you read, makes you relate to some things more than the others, basis how you are interpreting those lines. Your interpretation, obviously, depends on your current state of mind, your surroundings and eco-system.
Just change the lens with which you see this situation, a wise man had told her once. That was a completely different situation, but those words had stayed. And before taking a life changing decision, she convinced herself to just shift the lens and see.
When someone accuses you of being selfish, they are being selfish too. They are being uncomfortable with your demands or feelings and hence for their peace, want you to stop behaving, thinking or feeling in that way. Putting yourself first is not selfish, constantly thinking about only yourself is. The difference needs to be understood. So, next time if someone tells you stop being selfish, tell them that Bhagvad Gita says it’s far better to live your own path imperfectly than to live another’s perfectly.
Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash
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