I recently had the good fortune of listening to a HR leader in a Masterclass session hosted by Corporate Shiksha. She was addressing the gathering of HR professionals on building work life balance in organizations. But instead of giving the normal gyaan, she wanted participants to first focus on knowing their own work life balance.
During that insightful session, she shared her experiences on how she has managed her corporate life, with two kids and a working husband. And that’s where I got my biggest learning of how to truly implement work life balance as a woman professional.
To ensure that you get your work life balance right, it is not only an employer’s responsibility. Your family has to provide you the freedom too. If you are a working lady who comes back home to a whole host of home duties, family get together that have to be attended and to a child that needs only your attention, then Missy, forget about the work life balance.
Work life balance is not only about managing work and home; it is also about finding time for things you like doing. Unless all these three things come together, you wouldn’t be in perfect balance. And even if the employer provides you the best of freedom and flexibility, you will not be a happy soul if that time is being spent only in managing home issues.
The HR leader gave a very interesting example. She said I don’t attend any family functions. Because that’s not in my agenda. I would rather use that time in doing something else.
How interesting is that. I am sure most of us would love to do that too, but remember there’s a catch here. You can’t choose to not attend only your in-laws’ side of functions, your side of the family will need to be skipped too. So if that doesn’t make you comfortable, then look at other ways of saving some of your important time.
Remember, while making your day schedules, make plan for things you need to finish at work, things you need to finish at home and things you need to do for yourself.
What are the things that you not like doing, but are still doing? Can those be done by someone else? Can you skip doing them completely? Make a list of such things and then sit with your husband. But before you start discussing the list with him, get aligned with him on the basic question- why do u need to work?
Are you working because the family needs the money, or because you want to work? If the family expects you to work for them, then they’d better be ready to give you a more helping hand at home. And hence, make your daily work chart in a way that doesn’t make you do things you find a wastage of time. I, for instance, find cooking a big waste of time, and hence would love to have a cook. However, I also know of ladies, who have the urge of reaching home on time so that they can cook for the family.
But if the answer to the basic question is that you are working because you want to work, then the expectation setting with the husband can be a detailed and a long one. I would again quote the HR leader here. She said if each of my family contributes 10 points to the overall family happiness, then I have two options. I either be at a 5 by not working and being a sulking housewife, or I be at 9 by working. If I am at 5, my kid’s 10 points are probably at 8-9 because they have a stay at home mommy. If I am at 9 (by working) then I don’t spend much mommy time with them and hence their happiness levels could be at 7 or 8. So as a family each needs to balance out so that both individually and as a family, the scores are optimum. Overall family happiness cannot be gained by reducing one individual’s happiness to bare minimum.
Sadly, most women, even today, are the ones who are only sacrificing and hence reducing their share of 10 points. What the couple needs to realise is that while everything is being attended to and managed perfectly well, the overall family happiness is going down. And that’s not a long term solution.
So nice Dora…. keep writing the good articles